The Premium Brazilian & Bikini Wax of Your Dreams, Only In San Jose
Book your Brazilian or Bikini Wax session today at our San Jose Waxing Center. Not only will you be among weirdos of your kind, but you shall also witness the Bible-level miracles that our deforestation ninjas create daily: causing you immense pain and you liking it.
"I had my first wax here and they made me feel incredibly comfortable and had me laughing the entire time. They are so knowledgeable and make you feel like a best friend"
~Denise Padilla
Brazilian Wax Prices
Our brazilian wax is focused on removing hair from a person's crotch, labia (or penis/testicles), and bum crack. Join the thousands of people in San Jose who once clutched their pearls at the thought of a brazilian wax, declaring “I would never!” then came into our wax center for their bikini wax and nevered like they never nevered before.
Don’t believe us? Check out what one of our beloved customers and fellow chaos pixies said:
"Best waxing salon in the Bay Area! They’re fast and professional. The estheticians are hilarious too. Least painful wax I’ve ever had. Book an appointment! You won’t regret it!" ~Sasha Keck
For a full list of our waxing services, click below to see our appointment page which details far more offerings.
Bikini Wax Prices
Looking to groom your bikini line but not ready to take it allllll off? No problem. Start with a Bikini Wax, which begins at $55, with the final price depending on how much hair you'd like to remove. A Bikini Wax at our flagship San Jose headquarters is more conservative and typically includes waxing one finger width inside the underwear line while leaving the labia untouched. The hairline below the navel is also included in this service. Still have questions? Your esthetician will provide a definitive price at the start of your appointment to ensure clarity.
For a full list of our waxing services, click below to see our appointment page which details far more offerings.
Should you choose a Brazilian Wax, or should you continue with the dreading, never-ending, soul crushing process of having to shave?
Embrace the pain, feel wholesome again!
Simply put, getting a Brazilian Wax:
Makes you smoother for longer. Waxing at Ted D Bare will leave you hair free for weeks. The best part, your appointment only takes 15 minutes minimum!
Helps with irritation. A Brazilian Wax is far less irritating than traditional shaving, resulting is less or no redness and the sexiest version of you.
Exfoliates and improves skin texture. A professional well executed Brazilian Wax will not only remove hair but it will exfoliate your skin while improving texture.
Prevents ingrown hairs. Need more reasons to get your bum over here!?
Prevents odors and bacteria. Pubic hair can trap bacteria which may result in unwanted odors and infections. Being hair free for weeks eliminates your chances for such uncomfortable situations.
Helps you have less in your mind and feel more relaxed. Knowing that your hair will be gone for weeks will remove hairy thoughts from your mind and eliminate having to worry about when you have to shave next.
Boosts your confidence. Knowing that you’ll look good in any outfit and not having to think so much about what to wear because of your hair, is priceless!
Gives you a social outlet. At Ted D Bare we become your best friend and family. We pamper you and make sure your visit is the highlight of your day.
Decimate your ingrowns with our complete line of waxing aftercare products.
Decimate your ingrowns with our complete line of waxing aftercare products.
FAQs
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A brazilian wax is the application of a warm wax onto your pubic hair, followed by brute strength to rip it off. Repeat ’til all the hair is removed and you’re ready to show off our work.
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Yes men get brazilian waxes (aka “manziilan”) which is the removal of hair from your penis testicles, bum cheeks and crack.
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Not bad, actually. Only vaguely soul-crushing.
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As serious as a sucking chest wound.
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Actually yes.
For seventeen years, clients have begged us for ways to lessen the pain that comes from brazilian waxing. After we stopped laughing in their faces, we now have a Numbing Cream called Penichillin that is so effective, it'll dull the pain left in your heart from the attention you never received in your childhood.
Apply 30 minutes before your appointment, wrap with Saran Wrap for maximum absorption and pray.
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We get it. You’re a dude. The thought of getting naked in front of a girl you don’t know freaks you out and you’re afraid you’ll get involuntarily excited, right?
It’s a natural reaction. That said, after we rip off the strip, there’s no way your excitement will last. Still, we strongly urge you not to be a freak and do anything to prolong your excitement. Should you not heed our warning, we will TEAR. YOU. APART. This is a professional service with the sole purpose of removing hair. If you are here for any other reason, we will not only remove your hair, we shall remove skin, limbs, and any pride or self-respect you pretend to have. Tool.
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Yes yes, further reviews say the moon orbits around us, we have no need for potholders and we can split an atom with a joke. But truth is, we are only human and although our talents are many, we cannot make waxing not painful just as we are unable to unscramble scrambled eggs.
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Because fair is fair and what we quote you should be all that you are responsible for. And we believe tipping destroys our good luck mojo and we're all about karma because people, really, at the end of the day, we do it for the children.
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Because (1) they're bored (2) we are no longer in the 70s and like VCRs and Atari, the pursuit of being hirsute ain't making a comeback. Plus it's low in calories and gluten free!
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Hair must be AT LEAST half inch long for effective removal which means no waxing or shaving for the past four weeks. If you've shaved within four weeks, we guarantee you will experience all of the waxing pain, pay full price and still be left with a ton of stragglers. If money isn't important to you and you want to make it rain, feel free to ignore our warning and schedule an appointment. But if you later email us and rant that you didn't get a clean wax even though you knew we had asked for 4 weeks of growth and you only had 3, we will unleash verbal shock and awe on you because Dummy, seriously, if you can't read, how'd you get your GED?
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(1) Pay us (2) To prevent ingrowns, get ya hands on 50 Grit - a textured bath towel so heroic, you'd swear it, too, was forged in the heart of a dying star. This cape-less vigilante purges your skin of dead cells which trap new growth, causing cysts and pimples. Gently scrub your waxed region (skip labia, penis, testicles or anything on your face) everyday. Commit 15 seconds to be disciplined, be brave. You might wince during the scrub but like a bad decision that turns into a damn good time, 50 Grit hurts you just enough. Comes in two strengths: Passive and Aggressive
Afterwards, apply a specific Anti-Ingrown remedy which, lucky you, we have available here. Jane and Pai sourced with fury for something that actually worked and after 18 months, they high-fived each other upon formulating a spray-on bacchanal of acids called Agent 88. Just spray this sorcery 2x per week after you shower until you build a tolerance and level up to 3-4x weekly.
What? Use it 5 days? Damn GORLLLLL, you keep it tight!!!
All products are available in our online shop.
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Anything that will cause you to sweat or get dirt or oil in your pores for 24 hours (i.e. sexing, working on your fitness, hot tubbing, taking a 2000 mile donkey ride, etc.). Unless you like boils and think acne rashes are hot — then who are we to judge?? Stand tall, Renegade Man!
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We suck at waxing brows and after years of waxing, each of us has developed a repetitive stress injury in the right shoulder that prevents us from waxing arms or legs as the curvature of those body parts exacerbates the injury.
And sorry Bruh but we shall not compromise our health for you, just this one time. We realize you will now have to roll up your JCrew sleeve and go elsewhere. Woe is us, oh, woe is us.
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Why yes we do! We have over 600 YELP REVIEWS and over 200 GOOGLE Reviews. Everyone that comes in LOVES our waxing center in San Jose and getting their Brazilian/Bikini Wax with one of our AWESOME estheticians.
Still have a question?
Send Us A Text at
4088054929
What People Are Saying
About Their Waxing Experience
“Just wanted to let you know, the wife loved it. So I guess I’m now a regular. Damn you.”
— J.S. age 58
“I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
— K.S. age 23
"HOLY SHIT YOU'RE FAST!"
— E.G. age 25
“You have spinach in your teeth.”
— C.V. age 44 (actually it was kale)
Okay, those testimonials sound legit.